Not understanding a thing

The parent of adolescents is part of who I am in these years of my life, and it is a weird, wonderful and painful experience, which confuses, puts perspective and humbles. I try to do the best I can but wish there was a more comprehensive user manual.

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Not understanding a thing

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For years I’ve read articles about adolescent brains,

focus and index finger meandering through twin studies

of fascinatingly pimply youths.

The surprising findings of physiological programming for all-

night gaming, morning conflicts, agreements made and lost

in reorganizing, rearranging neurons and synapses.

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My time comes and sharp counsel from the uninitiated grates against

soothingly philosophical reminiscences from survivors,

because everyone knows the answers, but the questions aren’t clear.

Now, I just struggle from crisis to crisis in a heady cocktail of hormones

and philosophy, and self-questioning on paths I hadn’t planned to travel,

where I find myself looking up at my child and not understanding a thing.

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3 thoughts on “Not understanding a thing

  1. Perfectly put, Rilla! We had about 2 years when the girls were ghastly to each other every day and sometimes I didn’t want to come home to all the conflict. I read all the advice and did my best but didn’t always keep my temper. Now it’s passed and I can look back philosophically but then it was horrible and I don’t believe anything I could have done would truly have made a difference. I’m proud of the young women they have become, with or without my help!

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