It’s complicated,

While I mindfully try to think with only one voice,

A babble of voices shouting other regretfully thoughts,

Distractions from moving towards where I’m trying to go to make sure I avoid

Getting there.

.

I’d express it,

If I didn’t worry so much about what they might think,

They, who’ll probably never read it, and almost definitely not get it,

Who I don’t care much about anyway, and certainly have no idea what they feel

Or think.

.

It’s not that simple,

The layers on confusingly contradictory layers,

I hold that evolving view until new evidence comes to light,

Contradicting, reinforcing or utterly disproving while I passionately try to explain

Mainly to myself.

.

It’s fascinating,

Yet even I am not listening with much focus as double,

Triple tasking, one screen flickering blue in the background, while another

Trembles for my attention, there’s early morning birdsong calling to my soul

But also breaking news.

.

I’m surviving

Strong as steel in the face of bone crushing circumstances,

Thoughtfully supportive, logically dealing with more than everything

Or pathetically procrastinating on unimportant, insignificant detail,

I’ll finish this afternoon

.

Kampala 2019